TGIF; or not?

Thank the Lord, it's the weekend. Right? We're so excited for a day or two off of work, yet we cram it so full of housework/chores/errands, that we are probably are doing more work, than we would be if we were at work. I know I do.

I do endless amounts of laundry, which I don't understand, because it's just my husband and I. You'd think we had 6 children if you looked at the laundry baskets. I scrub the bathroom, which also looks like 8 people are sharing it. You can refer to a past blog, called A place for everything, for an explanation of that fact. Also, I grocery shop; And being as frugal as I am, you know I'm hitting the warehouses and cheap stores for a deal. In this economy, so is everyone else. That means one thing, Saturday morning food shopping is very similar to Black Friday electronic shopping. It's horrifying in many ways.

There are elderly people driving motorized scooters, that have to have had the governor removed, because they're going 20 mph past the Cheerios. These people are steering so badly, and mumbling profanities so loudly (because you mistakenly made eye contact), that all you can do is pray they took the bus there, and didn't drive themselves.

Once you've avoided all those collisions, you get stuck behind someone with immense body odor. They may not look like they're going to smell, but oh, they do. It's a sudden gridlock, you can't go left, you can't go right, and if you stop, you risk being rear-ended by a scooter at a lethal speed. You fear if you mouth-breath much longer you're going to taste that horrific smell.

Now that your blood pressure is up from the near panic attack you've had, there are unruly children, everywhere. They are from different families, but have all met up to finish off your food shopping nightmare. They're playing tag, they're spitting, they're pushing, and they've just crashed into your leg. If you're me, you emit a low gremlin like growl, accompanied by the official Kitty-Stink-Eye. They run in the other direction. I've seen other people purposely clip them with their shopping carts, and I have to say, I've smiled at their initiative.

Then you get in line. There are 4 registers open, one has a cashier training a newbie, and every single line has at least 8 people in it. 8 people who have just received their food stamps, and each have two carts full of food. Great.

Thirty minutes later you're walking to your car, slightly sweaty, absolutely parched, and in need of a nap. You look over, and  you see the smelly person. You shudder in remembrance of the odor. Then you notice that the child-gang ring-leader is the smelly person's child. There's food for thought. Oh, and wait, who is that driving the car they're all getting into? Grandpa, who's motor scooter broke the sound barrier on the way past the coffee. How appropriate. Such a nice family tree.

So glad it's the weekend, right? We're being our own personal maids, for free. So relaxing and rewarding after a tough week of work.

At least I get paid at work. Just sayin'.