And the winner is....

Cologne. Cologne? Let's give this a whirl.


First of all, thank you for all of your votes in the poll, it was a close one.


Here's my view on cologne. As a whole, I dislike it. It usually is overpowering, because nothing about men is ever subtle. Overpowering  meaning that I can taste it; And cologne is not meant to be tasted. That fact is rather nauseating in itself. When you're caught in the cross breeze of a man with too much cologne, you can't win. If you breathe through your nose, you won't get enough oxygen; If you breathe through your mouth, you'll taste it and not get enough oxygen. That's a lose-lose situation. It's not often, but after a man leaves a room and I say 'Wow, what is he wearing?', I smile. I smile because that man knows his pulse points. The fact that he knows his pulse points is what makes him sexy, not the scent he's wearing.


More men need to learn the 'pulse points'; quickly. These are the parts of the body that heat up the fastest. What happens when your skin is warmed by your blood's natural flow is that the alcohol or the oil in the perfume/cologne begins to evaporate into the air around you. When you apply perfume/cologne to all of your pulse points, you walk around with a very slight yet significant aura surrounding your body. It's the perfect balance.


Also, this 'Axe effect' stuff is nonsense. All of that canned garbage smells like pepper spray. It's not acceptable unless your in middle school. Once you're legitimately on your way to manhood, step up, and spring the extra 5 or 10 bucks for a generic cologne. I'm not saying spend $85 for half an ounce of cologne, just make an effort to not smell like an over spiced salad. I don't think that's a lot for any woman to ask of you.

I think it's interesting that 'cologne' rhymes with 'alone.' - Demetri Martin


Yeah, that is interesting. As usual, this rant has been me, just sayin'.