If the shoe fits...

Always wear expensive shoes. People notice. - Brian Koslow

Well said, Brian. A lot of people may or may not notice, but I certainly do. I am a first impression-shoe judger. Yes, that means I stare directly at your feet for 5-10 seconds the moment I initially meet you; And no, I am not subtle about the staring at all.

I will, more likely than not, hear nothing you have to say in the first 5-10 seconds of meeting you. I'll be staring at your shoes. They speak volumes for the type of person you are. Also, you will never escape my initial shoe-stereotype label. You will forever be known as one of the following listings; And no, I never forget them. I may not remember the actual shoe, but I remember the category. Forever.

Dirty - I don't care if they are heels, flats, or super-cute sneakers; If they're dirty, I do not like you. If they are dirty white flip flops, you've made me nauseous.

Spunky - These are fun looking shoes. They have flair, and 90% of the time, I know you're in pain from at least one of the straps. Kudos. You have earned a nugget of respect from me, for making a small pain sacrifice to make an impression. These shoes always make the outfit you have on, also.

Bland - Shoes. Just boring shoes. Nothing spectacular, nothing eye catching. Just plain shoes. I am in a grey area with you folks. Are you boring people? Should I give you a second shoe chance? Perhaps. Only time will tell with this group. Repeat offenders, however, I tend to skim over quite quickly.

Obnoxious - Please do not confuse spunky and obnoxious. If you have hot pink sneakers with lime green/electric blue checkered laces, I don't like you. You have a low IQ, and simple things entertain you, for lengthy periods of time.

Perfect - This is almost a sub-category. There isn't anything spunky about your shoes, but they aren't bland either. You've anchored on the middle ground. They just suit you, and are perfect. They match your outfit, and are well-maintained. A solid thumbs up for perfection.

Those are my five shoe categories. You will fall into one, and I will shoe-judge you. It is just a fact of Kitty-life as I know it, as ugly as it may be. I can remember doing this as a kid, which was probably unfair, because I know I wore what my parents gave me, and that was all there was to it. That's probably how it was for most kids, because they were kids.

Are you classifying your favorite pair of shoes right now? You should be. I'm certain I'm not the only one in the universe who does this.

No dusty feet welcome here. Just sayin'.