All the Single Ladies

This song came on at a party my husband and I were at Saturday night. You may be familiar with it; It sort of sounds like a carnival game in the beginning, with a lot of repetition. 

I was sitting in a row with two other girls, and the one in the middle was single. The following conversation occurred between the three of us, after every woman there raised their left hand and shook it while they sang loudly.

TC: Do you wear your ring?
Kitty: Yes.
(We compared wedding band sets.)
(The single girl places her hand, with no ring, in between the two of ours.)
GR: Look at that. Fail.
TC & Kitty: Stop it!!
(Giggling)

GR, why fail?

Let me paint a picture of GR. She is a single, independent woman. She has purchased her own home, and is in the process of furnishing it amazingly. She has exquisite taste, with a theme of blacks and whites, and beautiful art adorning her walls. She has reliable means of transportation, which she also pays for. She has a respectable, stable job, which she does extremely well. She has an infectious personality; She is kind, helpful, and extremely personable. She has a cute laugh, and makes adorable faces for pictures. Physically, she is also gorgeous. Flawless porcelain skin, thin, and very pretty facial features. I specifically love her eyes. They're warm, kind, and inviting. No, I am not secretly in love with GR. She also has the cutest dog anyone has ever seen, and his name is equally awesome. His name is Waffle, and Waffle had a tux on for the party. That just adds to GR's awesome personality for me.

Again I ask, why fail? There is no fail about you, or any other awesome woman who has her stuff together enough to be single and that great of a person. You don't need a partner to be great, you emit awesomeness effortlessly all on your own. Also, you would be a prize in any relationship. I am happy to have you in a friendship; Any sane gentleman would be ecstatic to call you his own. He will find you, but until then, I may buy you a ring, and have it engraved with 'FAIL'.

I believe that as soon as you, and all other GR's of the world are comfortable being single, the one that your soul loves will surface, and you will never remember those 'FAIL' moments. That person will subtly and effortlessly snuff all those things away, into the past, and leave you with nothing but eagerness for the future. That person will love Waffle (or other Waffle equivalents), also. Just sayin'.