Limbo

Well, limbo is not a good place to be. - Bill Joy

I'm in limbo, and I don't like it. It's not a good place to be. I hate being in between things. Even when you're almost certain of it one way; It is almost always possible for it to go another way. I am the type of person who likes things planned, intricatly; And I typically don't like surprises. Well, I do when it's good, and coming from my husband. His good surprises are the best. I just like to be certain of my future, my immediate future at least. I hate it when my weekend plans are ruined or changed, it makes me crabby. That being said, I'm sure you can imagine me being unsure of my future at the moment, I'm easily irritable. In fact, I'm waking up irritated. I'm certain enough of this issue, however, to not be losing sleep over it; So a solid thumbs up to that at least. I'm just unsure of what's going to unfold, and I want to play my cards right. Where do I go from here? Up, down, or sideways? Lord only knows.

This brings excitement to me, certain aspects do anyway; And other aspects bring uncertainty, which gives me nerves. A Nervy B, which is what I so lovingly call a nervous breakdown, was had on Friday night; By yours truly. I basically 'what if' myself into an oblivion. An oblivion that requires a medicinal solution, some water, and sleep. I 'what if' a 'what if', inside of another 'what if'; It's really rather ridiculous. The result of that mental questioning being me laying in  all of my laundry crying, is also rather ridiculous.

Who cares? If it's going to happen, it's going to happen.

Life is like a game of cards.  The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.  -Jawaharlal Nehru

 I need to learn to just relax, and let it ride. Everything happens for a reason, and God will not lead me where he cannot protect me. He can always protect me. Hakuna Matata, right? No worries, no problem. Just be.

I guess I need yoga, a zen garden, or a xanax mashed up in my eggs every morning. Just sayin'.