With child...? No thanks.

Let me be clear, it is not the idea of pregnancy/childbirth that sends chills through my body; It is the 18+ years of impending doom that you are in for after your initial 9 month stint. Bottles, car seats, diapers and contraptions? No thanks; And those are the easy years. The older they get, the more they talk, and that's where I bow out. Is it so wrong that I just enjoy being a husband/wife team; Alone time, and peace and quiet? 

Now, don't be so harsh and write me off as a horrible person just yet, because I love kids, for the most part. I work at a preschool, and I laugh about 75% of the day. Kids are pretty cool.

Now, why must every single one of my friends, (my mother included), feel it necessary to tease me about getting pregnant all the time, specifically while on our upcoming vacation? I cannot get to the bottom of it. Maybe because I give such a heartfelt reaction of horror and disgust at the thought? That must be it, it's the only common thread. I am simply their entertainment. Also, I'd like to put it out there that I am not stupid, and am capable of using contraceptives; As is my husband! Hahaha. Four years of marriage this month with no children is proof. We have our two fur babies, and I love them/hate them like I birthed the little fur balls myself.

(Side note: I am going to write a book, named something along the lines of 101 reasons not to have children)

Another friend of mine threw this at me today via text message:

'Have a safe trip, and by safe trip I mean birth control... If you do get knocked up, please do not name the baby Cabin, Tennessee, or Oops.'

Isn't that a gem of advice? What good friends I have, and I mean it. Even though you all tease me incessantly, I love you all.

I'm going to go finish packing the truck now, we're leaving in about 40 minutes for a vacation in which my ultimate goal is to not get pregnant. Just to prove everyone wrong.

This post is for my 'Samantha'; You hooker.